How I Met Your Mother Porn
by blindavantasia
Summary: The stories Ted never told his kids, Barney's hookups, Robin's dates, Lily and Marshall crazy monkey sex (I know you want to see it) :)
1. Chapter 1

How I Met Your Mother Porn

Chapter 1: Ted and Robin

The gang was at the MacLaren's, Barney was hitting on a cute girl at the counter. She had a long dark hair, a bubble butt and D cup boobs, she wore a small shorts, and a really tight t-shirt, which could burst at any moment. Barney pulled off some magic tricks and made water burst in flames. Meanwhile Ted, Lilly, Marshal and Robin were talking about sports, mostly making fun about Cleaveland to Ted dismise, they drank their beers, and Robin went to get another round, she noticed Barney was doing fine and thought about how discusting he was, but she was getting horny from it.

Marshall and Lilly had to plan the wedding, so they left their table and went see the planner they hired. Roobin set at the table with the booze, and started talking to Ted:

\- Man, Barney is going to have a perfect week if he keeps going like this.

\- Don't said that, now you jinxed it. - Ted said while laughing; Sherbatsky was so hot, he really wished he could fuck her.

\- Ops, I'm sorry, but he's such a pig, you he deserves it.

She was getting hornier and Ted was a great guy, plus she thought he was kinda hot, maybe he could fuck her, although that would probably screw their friendship. Fuck it Robin thought. She started rubbing his crotch with her feet, there was a bulk there.

\- Whoa! What are you doing Sherbatsky? - Ted said with a perveted smile.

\- I'm a naughty girl, you know it Mosby. Maybe this dirty girl wants to give you a terrific evening. - She said, even though: Why am I saying this!?

\- Back to the apartament?

\- Yes, hurry!

They rushed upstairs, leaving Barney to pay the bill. As soon as they entered his place, she got on her knees unzipping his pants, pulled them down with his boxers, revealing an 8.5 inches cook, full hard," It's so big!" she said, before starting to suck the tip of his dick, slowly caressing it with her tong, then she started licking his balls, going up to the top of his penis and then sucking the whole thing inch by inch, speeding up. She asked him, without taking he's cook of her mouth " Yosh Like thiss?".

"Yes, oh God, Robin you're the best in this!" He said shoving her head to deepthroat his big dick. She managed take all of it, her mouth felt so warm and sloppy, and she continued to use her tong, it was legendary. He was about cum, so he gave her some air to breath and cummed inside her mouth, which she openned and then proceded to swallow his thick sperm

"It tastes great Mosby!" She said while fingering her soaked pussy. "You're such a slut, you love drinking cum don't you?" Ted said, which was immeadiatly responded by Robin. "Yes i do, come on and fuck me now!"

Robin took off her dress while dancing with no panties and no bra, her B cup boobs, Ted also got naked. She bent in all fours and he put his dick inside, making her moan, and started thrusting slowly during some time, as soon as Robin said " Faster you big dicked bastard!" he went a lot more faster, making her moan and scream a lot. They switched position and he started eating her pussy, she used her hands to make him stay there, and moanned "Yes Ted! Oh God! I'm gonna cum! Oh Yeah!" a few momments later she cummed, squirting all over his face. She gently pushed him on the ground started doing a reverse cowgirl giving him a view of her awesome ass, while she riding his dick, she also twerked making Ted fell like he was in heaven. After some time of moaning and riding, she came again, and Ted was about to burst, she didn't want to risk it and finished him with another blowjob and swallowing his thick cum again. That's when things got weird Ted said all of a sudden "I love you Robin.". She knew it would happend but it was a casual fuck, but there he was Mobying again. "Ted, you know i don't want nothing serious right now, and you want kids, I don't know if I'll ever have kids. I'm sorry, i wish things were different for us." She felt so sad, while leaving, "Why he loves me so much? I mean he's a great guy, I can't keep doing this to him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Barney and Anne

Barney succeded hitting that girl, her name was Anne, now was time for getting what he wanted, he had to bang two more girls for a perfect week, one was for sure, so why don't get to it soon. They went for his apartament, and started to kiss her, and she did the same, he started moving his hands down to her boobs and gently squeezed them, and she moved her hand to his crotch, he was getting hard. Barney began to rub her crotch, which made her a little wet, she stopped kissing him and said " Do you want a little strip show?". Of course Barney wanted and he nodded afirmatively to her, she started dancing while stripping. She took of her clothes bent on all fours and started twerking, her ass jiggled up and down, he took his pants off, revealing an 8 inches cook, he started eating her pink little pussy, which made her moan a little. After a while she said " Shove your cook in my pussy." and he obeyed, thrusting slowly at the beggining and speeding up the pace after a while, she moaned a lot, after that she started cowgirling him, making her breasts bounce, up and down, her pink nipples were erect, and Barney sucked on them, she moaned even more, she cummed, Barney took out his dick and she sucked until he came inside her mouth.


End file.
